Seeing Beyond Your Role in the Family Business. Who you think you are shapes everything—from how you lead to how you love.

Most business owners I meet introduce themselves with a role: "I'm the CEO," "I'm the creative director," "I'm the eldest son." But these are not identities. They are functions. Useful hats for navigating the family business or the fashion world, but dangerously limiting if you start believing that’s all you are.

This post invites you to step back. To question not just your job title, but your inner narrative. Drawing from deep psychology and ancient Advaita philosophy, I want to explore why your sense of self—your core identity—might be quietly dictating how you lead your business, how you relate to your children, and even how you buy your next pair of shoes.

We’ll also look at what happens when you stop confusing roles with reality. Why your poorest employee might already be closer to freedom than you are. And how that insight can transform both your work and your relationships.

At the end of this post, you’ll find a link to a full academic paper that underpins these ideas (available to download). But for now, let’s stay practical.

The Dangerous Illusion of a "Successful Self"

In family businesses, it's easy to inherit more than shares. You also inherit a story:

“I must keep the business going.”

“I have to prove myself.”

“Without this, who would I even be?”

You start to live inside a psychological costume, stitched together from duty, performance, and other people’s expectations. Jung would call it a persona. The Bhagavad Gita calls it maya. In either case, it’s a mask. And eventually it slips.

The Truth Your Ego Doesn’t Want to Hear

You are not your title.

You are not your family role.

You are not your curated image on Instagram or LinkedIn.

In fact, you’re not a fixed “thing” at all. You’re a process. A flow. A field of consciousness experiencing a temporary identity.

Sound airy? It’s not. Ask any leader who has stepped down, any heir who’s walked away, any mother who’s watched her children leave home. They all faced the same question: If I’m not this… then who am I?

Why Your Poorest Employee Might Be Closer to Truth

Your junior staff member who packs orders or handles customer returns may not have a LinkedIn bio or a multi-decade succession plan. But they also may not be clinging so tightly to a false identity.

They might go home, take off the work apron, and just be.

They might laugh, cook, care for an aging parent, play football with their niece, or sit under a tree doing nothing. No performance. No legacy pressure. Just life.

And sometimes, in that unguarded state, they are closer to the real thing than the person who built the business.

Fashion, Cycles, and the Illusion of Permanence

Style changes. Tastes move in cycles.

The things you once sold as "timeless" are now being offloaded in warehouse sales.

But we don't just chase permanence in fashion. We chase it in ourselves.

We buy the narrative of the "self-made entrepreneur," hoping it will outlast the chaos.

We design a life so tightly packed with meaning that we forget to ask: What if I am more than this role I play?

The irony? Real transformation comes when we stop chasing it.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Are you saying business success doesn’t matter?

Not at all. Business is a meaningful arena but it’s not your identity. The moment you confuse the two, you become reactive, rigid, and often unhappy.

Q: What’s the risk of believing in a fixed identity?

It narrows your options, creates fear of change, and makes you overreact to threats. In families, it creates conflict when people refuse to evolve beyond the roles they’ve assumed.

Q: Isn’t this all a bit philosophical for day-to-day work?

Yes, and no. The most practical decisions often rest on hidden assumptions. Who you believe you are affects how you delegate, how you handle conflict, and whether you can let go when it’s time.

Q: Where can I learn more about these ideas?

I’ve written a full academic paper comparing these insights from Advaita Vedanta and modern psychology. You can download it here (PDF).

Ready to Reclaim Your Freedom?

Download the paper now to discover how your identity shapes everything—from your business decisions to your family dynamics.

It includes insights from Jung, the Upanishads, cognitive therapy, and CEOs who’ve walked away at the top.

Take the first step toward living beyond the mask.