The Mentor Behind the Mirror

(And Why That Matters If Your Family Business Is Stuck on Repeat)

The Short Version

I’ve spent fifty-odd years studying the gap between who we think we are and what actually works. I’ve done it in social-work caseloads, Gestalt therapy rooms, university lecture halls, marketing war-rooms, and family-board dining tables.

Today I help founders and family-business owners untangle the hidden dynamics that drain their time, money, and spirit — then replace them with calmer, cleaner ways to succeed.

Why Listen to Me?

What shaped me

Army-bred realism & welfare pragmatism. My father climbed from private to major, teaching me how to laugh while marching uphill.

A mother who treated money like flowing water. Her generosity hides in every strategy I design.

Social-work rebellion. Two years on the Certificate of Qualification taught me that original thought outranks rote learning.

Boat-train epiphany. Caught in traffic, I realised the “fixed self” is a myth; context scripts behaviour.

Henri Cartier-Bresson’s letter. “Use a knife and fork, not a microscope.”

What you get

  • A mentor who mixes discipline with dark humour.

  • Advice that respects cashflow and quality of life.

  • Fresh angles on stale problems.

  • Tools that let you rewrite the script instead of repeating it.

  • Strategies simple enough to use, sharp enough to cut through noise.

What I Believe (and Practice)

Integrity over optics. I’ll forfeit a quick fee before selling you a shiny fix that won’t hold.

Systems over symptoms. Cashflow, conflict, and culture problems share roots; we’ll treat those roots.

Limited free will. You can’t pick your parents or the economy, but you can choose how you surf the waves.

Joy is useful. Happy people make clearer decisions. I aim to leave you lighter, not just richer.

How I Help Clients Right Now

Strategic Mirror Sessions: two-hour deep dives that reveal the invisible story driving your mess.

Family Governance Design: values-based structures that keep kin, cash, and control from cannibalising one another.

Mentor-on-Retainer: discreet monthly counsel (yes, £2.5 k) for founders who need a calm, contrarian voice in the storm.

If you want a guru in flowing robes, keep scrolling. If you want a seasoned ally who’ll challenge and champion you, let’s talk.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are we too small / too messy for this?

If the stakes feel personal and the patterns feel stuck, you’re big enough.

Do you work only with family businesses?

They’re my specialty, but any owner-led firm with tangled relationships fits.

Will you tell me what to do?

I’ll show you the levers, risks, and likely outcomes. Final calls stay yours.

How quickly will we see change?

Expect clarity in the first session, measurable shifts inside ninety days.

Why £2.5 k a month?

Because under-pricing wisdom cheapens it. I prefer fewer clients, deeper impact.

Ready to Stop Re-living the Same Quarter?

Book a 20-minute Clarity Call and discover whether my knife-and-fork approach can cut your biggest knot. (The FAQs above might answer your first concerns.)

Stephen Bray – mentor, mirror holder, occasional boat-train philosopher.

Listen to what Penny and Adam say about The Family Business Book:
Stephen Bray In The First Ever Turkish Built Scorpion Ribs Chase Boat