Potty Training: You’re the One Holding the Pressure

Years ago, I sat through a day of medical presentations—hours of slides, packed with stats, jargon, the works.

Every expert trying to outdo the next in showing how smart they were.

But then, a young doctor got up. Fresh off a flight from Hong Kong, back when it was still a British colony. He’d been working with families on Chinese junks and sampans.

Potty training in the UK was his area of research. Why? I couldn’t tell you. But his first line had everyone’s attention:

“There’s no potty training done on the boats.”

Because on those boats, kids just learn where to pee and poo naturally. No books, no rewards, no endless repetition—just life happening, in its own time, in its own way.

So here’s the truth about potty training. It’s not about forcing kids into a system. It’s about letting them find their way, naturally. Like they would if they were out on a boat, far away from any slides or statistics.

Here’s what that means for the rest of us:

Start When They’re Ready, Not When You Are

It’s easy to get pushy. After all, who wants to buy diapers forever? But if you start too early, you’re wasting time and money. Watch for the signs: dry nappies, asking questions, a little curiosity. Let them show you they’re ready. Less pushing, more patience.

Forget Perfect, Aim for Progress

Some days, your toddler is on a roll. Then, out of nowhere, they’re back to accidents. It’s a dance, not a straight line. If you’re in this expecting perfection, prepare for a long haul. Track progress, not perfection.

Skip the Judgement: There’s No Right Way

Everyone has advice on potty training. Just ignore most of it. What worked for your neighbor might be a disaster for you. Forget the ‘right way’—find your way. Less worry, more focus.

Incentives Work, Bribes Backfire

Reward systems can be a lifesaver. But don’t turn it into a circus of prizes. “Good job, well done!” can be reward enough. Keep it real, keep it simple.

Timing Is Everything

Got a holiday or a family event? Don’t try potty training then. Pick a calm week, no big changes, when you can stay home. Routine breeds success; chaos breeds accidents.

Be Ready to Fail (and Fail Again)

You’re going to see setbacks. A lot of them. Every “no accident” day is a mini-victory. Don’t let setbacks derail you. They’re part of the job, not a sign it’s not working.

Make It Fun, Not a Chore

Turn potty time into a game. Give them a target, a story, a silly song. The minute they sense tension or frustration, they’ll mirror it. If you can’t laugh about it, you’re doing it wrong.

The Bathroom is Just Another Room

If they’re nervous about it, ease them in. Let them get comfy in the bathroom—read stories, let them explore. Make it familiar before you make it functional.

Expect Setbacks When You Least Expect Them

Just when you think they’ve got it, accidents come back. A long car ride, a new environment—sometimes it all unravels. Don’t let it discourage you. Start fresh and get back to basics.

Remember Who’s Learning

This is their journey, not yours. You’re a guide, not a drill sergeant. Show patience, give encouragement, and step back. In the end, they’ll get it in their own way, at their own pace.

Potty training isn’t a race. It’s a messy, unpredictable process. Treat it like a new adventure, not a battle. Stick with it, celebrate the little wins, and when it all clicks, you’ll know it was worth the chaos.

When it all feels like it’s falling apart, remember that young doctor’s words.

Potty training isn’t their problem. They’ll get it eventually.

The real struggle is with us, the parents. We’re the ones feeling the pressure, the timeline, the need to succeed.

But out on a boat, there’s no rush, no charts, no anxious parents.

Kids learn by living.

So let go of the burden, and let them take their time.

That’s when the real progress begins.